Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare

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(678): View more from Georgia

I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...

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(509): View more from Washington

I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...

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(415): View more from California

And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

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(917): View more from New York City

I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Congratulations on your lack of fetus.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.

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