That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
