This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
