I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
