woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
