Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
