im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I cockslap morals
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
