If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
