the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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