im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize