she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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