There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
