It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We got so high we made milksteak
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
