Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
