Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
