i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
