Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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