Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
