Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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