I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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