fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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