I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
