i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
