i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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