I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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