I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
