Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize