Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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