oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
