1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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