So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
