yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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