i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
