go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
