how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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