That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
