you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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