my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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