I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
