Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
