I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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