awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I understand Curling. That high.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I could fuck to npr.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
