i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
