I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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