tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
