??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
