Pappa wants mamma naked
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
