Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
