OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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