We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
