She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
