I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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