once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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