Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
