But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
