before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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