I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
