Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
