ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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