I have demons in me.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
