im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I love black thongs
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
