My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
