My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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